You're the Only Thing I Know
by ausllydawmoon
Summary: "Round in circles, here we go/With the highest highs, and the lowest lows."/Or where things are far from perfect, but he's all she knows. And quite frankly, he's all she really wants to know. (And besides, he does have his moments.) Raura. One-Shot.


It's not that she hates him; she doesn't. Far from it, in fact. But the things he does and says just piss her off to the point that on multiple occasions she finds herself unable to handle him for long periods of time. Or short periods of time. Or any period of time, really.

It's on these occasions that she often times forgets that she actually _likes_ him, that he's her _boyfriend_. But how could she possibly think about that when it's two a.m. and they're screaming at each other because they're in another pointless argument?

But they've never broken up, not _once_ , in the three years they've been together. No argument, no fight, no problem was big enough, _important_ enough, to _actually_ break up over. They've come close – she knows it. She's come close to screaming those words more times than she can count, and she knows he has, too. But neither of them has. Because deep down, they both know that they'd regret it immensely.

Still, she feels like this isn't what a real relationship should be like. Especially not _theirs_. When they first got together, it was all cute dates and romantic gestures and almost disgustingly shameless flirting. But now they're older, busier, with more problems than solutions and more time apart from each other than together.

She really doesn't like how much things have changed. She used to look at him looking at her and his eyes would be bright and twinkling and his smile would take up his whole face and it was _beautiful_. But now… _Now_ , all she sees is cold eyes and a hard jaw, and sometimes she can hardly recognize him as the same person he once was.

And when she looks at herself in the mirror after fighting with him, she can hardly recognize _herself_.

But this is _their_ normal. She's used to it, to him, to _them_. And there _are_ those off times when they _aren't_ fighting, when things feel as though they're flickering between past and present, when she catches that look in his eyes and a hint of that smile, and she remembers that it's all worth it.

* * *

He's coming home today. He's been away on tour for _months_ , and they've gotten by with a few texts a day, and the occasional phone call or FaceTime, but she's missed him like _crazy_. And he's coming _home_.

She resists the urge to call him, wanting to be surprised when he finally walks in the door. Today is going to be a good day for them, she promises herself. The days they reunite after being apart for a long time usually are, because they both miss each other and it hits them yet again that no matter what they really don't like being without each other.

Yesterday he told her he'd probably be at her house around three, and it's only noon at the moment. She knows she should probably stop pacing in her living room and staring at the front door, so she calls Raini for some much-needed girl talk.

"Hey Laura! I thought you'd be with – "

"He's not home yet," she interrupts. "He said around three."

"Ah. Are you excited?"

"Yeah. I really miss him."

"I'm sure he misses you, too."

"I hope so," Laura says with a sigh, collapsing on her couch.

"Don't tell me you two are fighting."

"No, not now," she promises. "Just…sometimes I worry, y'know? I mean, he's _him_ and so many girls love him and he's traveling the world and meeting all these exotic, beautiful – "

"Hey, you're beautiful. And technically, you're exotic too, Miss Half-Italian. But even if you weren't, you need to stop comparing yourself to other girls. He's been with you for three years, and you two have been through a lot. If he didn't' wanna be with you, don't you think he would've dumped you already?"

"I guess…Unless he's just now getting tired of me."

"Come on, Laura."

Laura sighs. "I know you're right, it's just…hard."

"But you always say it's worth it."

"It is. I know it is. And I'm sure when I see him again all this will go away, but it's been so long…"

"I know," Raini says gently. "Wanna head to the Grove or something to get your mind off him for a bit? Maybe you'll be even _happier_ when you see him again."

"Okay," Laura replies, a small smile on her face. "Meet you there."

Raini was right. A little shopping and quality time with her best friend helped take her mind off stressing about Ross. But now she's home, and it's 3:30, and there's still no sign of him. She texted him, but he hasn't responded, or read it. And she would be worried, except that she's not exactly surprised.

She heads to her room and collapses on her bed, and apparently today has been a lot more stressful than she thought because she falls asleep almost immediately after her head hits the pillow.

* * *

"Laura," she hears next to her ear while her shoulder is nudged gently. "If I had known you were this uninterested in my homecoming I wouldn't have bothered coming over."

She knits her eyebrows and opens her eyes enough to see the speaker. Blonde hair. Hazel eyes. Small, amused, annoyingly cute smirk.

"Ross," she croaks, her voice raspy after being asleep. She sits up to hug him, a smile forming on her face when she feels his arms around her.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he teases, tightening his grip around her. He smells like his shampoo and his house and his cologne and _him_. She buries her face in his shoulder, smiling wider.

"I missed you," she tells him.

"I missed you, too." He pulls away from their hug to look at her, his eyes twinkling. She sighs in relief and presses a light kiss to his lips, which unfortunately doesn't last as long as she intended.

"I wasn't done yet," she pouts when he pulls away.

"We'll have plenty of time for that later," he says with a chuckle. "But for now, I wanna give you this."

He picks up a small gift bag from the floor by her bed and hands it to her, biting his lip and trying to contain his smile. She grins and takes it, pulling out the tissue paper and looking at what's inside.

Giggling, she pulls out a book. "A book of British puns?"

He grins. "I saw it when we were in the UK and thought of you. Half of them are about Harry Potter!"

She laughs and hugs him again. "I love it," she says. "You will definitely be hearing all of these."

"You know, maybe I should send it back – "

He starts reaching for it, but she pulls it away. "Over my dead body!" she exclaims, standing up on her bed and holding it out of his reach.

"Oh, yeah?" he says, a smirk growing on his face.

"Yeah!"

Suddenly, he grabs her legs and pulls them out from under her, and she lets out a yelp as she falls on the bed, the book flying out of her hands and onto the floor.

" _Ross_!" she exclaims, starting to sit up. But he has other ideas, and he climbs on the bed and straddles her, leaning down and supporting himself on his forearms while effectively pinning her to the bed.

"Yes?"

"I could've hit my head! Or – or twisted an ankle, or the corner of the book cover could've stabbed me in the eye, or I could've gotten a _paper cut_ , or – "

"But you didn't," he reminds her.

She rolls her eyes and tries to wriggle her way out from under him, but he just puts more weight on her to keep her still.

"I'm sorry," he tells her, not sounding sorry at all.

"Yeah, you _better_ be," she grumbles, pouting up at him.

"I'm _very_ sorry," he continues, mocking her pout for a moment before returning to his signature smirk and glancing down at her lips. "So very, unbearably sorry…"

He trails off and kisses her, the smirk getting replaced with a real, genuine smile. She exhales through her nose and closes her eyes, kissing him back. She feels his fingertips caressing her cheek, and she leans into his touch.

Suddenly, a phone rings and he rolls off her in surprise, cursing and pulling his phone out of his pocket and answering it.

"I'm a little busy."

She turns her head to look at him, trying to listen to the faint voice on the other end of the line.

"I know," Ross continues into the phone. "But we just got home, and unlike you, _I_ haven't seen my girlfriend in six months."

He sighs as he listens to the speaker. "Yeah, yeah," he replies. "Fine. Whatever." He hangs up and looks over at Laura.

"You have to go?" she guesses.

He presses his lips together. "Guys' night."

"That's stupid."

He frowns.

"It is!" Laura says, sitting up. "You've spent every waking moment of every day together for the past six months. You don't _need_ a 'guys' night.' What you _need_ is to spend time with your _girlfriend_ who's missed you like crazy!"

Ross rolls his eyes and gets off the bed. "You can _share_ , Laura."

Her jaw drops in astonishment. " _Share_?! I've _been_ sharing! I'm _so_ sorry if I'd like to spend more than twenty minutes with my boyfriend after being apart from him for _six months_! I'm sorry if I'm frustrated that he'd rather go hang out with his brothers who he not only _lives_ with, but who he's also _been with while he was on tour_! But no, you're right, I need to share you. I'm too greedy, too needy, too all-around _unsupportive_ of you and your family band and your rock star lifestyle. Just call me up whenever you can find a few minutes in your busy life to spare for me."

"Okay, I will," he tells her with a nod. "And while you're waiting, maybe you can try to find something to do that _doesn't_ revolve around me."

"Oh, get _over_ yourself," she retorts immediately. "I have a career, too. And friends, and family, not to mention that I also go to _college_ , unlike you. But apparently _I'm_ the only one who cares enough to find ways to make time for you."

"Oh, so now you're accusing me of not caring?"

"If the shoe fits, wear it."

"No, Laura. Okay? _No_. You _can't_ do that. If I didn't care, I wouldn't _be_ here."

"If you _did_ care, you wouldn't be ditching me to go spend even more time with your brothers!" she interrupts him before he can continue. "But you're probably right. I need to learn to _share_ you. I'll wait my turn. Go ahead, go have your guys' night. I've already spent six months without you; what's one more night, yeah?"

Ross grits his teeth and storms out of her room, slamming the door shut behind him. She grabs a pillow and screams into it before throwing it as hard as she can at the closed door.

You'd think she'd be used to the pain of fighting with him by now.

* * *

"Guys, I _swear_ – "

"Ross, it's not a good movie. Just deal with it and move on," Raini interrupts him, giggling at his pout. Laura, Ross, and Raini all managed to find time to go out to lunch together (unfortunately Calum is filming a movie in Canada so he couldn't make it), and they're standing outside waiting for their table.

Ross apologized to her two days after their fight, and she apologized back. That's usually the way it goes: whoever's in the wrong makes the first apology, and then whoever _isn't_ in the wrong but still probably said things they shouldn't have apologizes after. Then they kiss and make up and dread the next fight.

But for right now, things are okay. They haven't fought since that day he got home, and that was a little over a week ago. In their relationship, that's a record.

"But speaking of good movies," Laura says as Ross absentmindedly scratches her lower back soothingly, "I think we should all have a Disney movie marathon when Calum gets back."

"I think that's a great idea," Raini says with a nod.

"I'm down," Ross agrees, nodding as well. "As long as Hercules is on the list."

"Well, of course. If we're gonna _go the distance_ to find time in our schedules, which is truly a _Herculean_ task, it's only proper that we should watch – "

"Just stop," Ross says, shaking his head. But he's smiling, and his hand is resting on her back, and things are good, so she doesn't mind.

Once they're seated and eating, Ross goes into another crazy tour story. One that Laura tunes out. Not because she doesn't want to hear it, but because after you've heard twenty million of them, they begin to feel a bit repetitive. So she nibbles on her pancakes (yes, breakfast for lunch _can_ be a thing) and lets her thoughts wander.

She's snapped out of said thoughts, however, when a certain blond makes a grab with his fork for a bite of her food. She smacks his hand away.

"You have your own!" she tells him, narrowing her eyes.

"Yeah, but you do your syrup better."

Laura rolls her eyes. "Eat your own pancakes."

" _Someone_ woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." But he simply kisses her cheek and returns to his own food, while Raini launches into a funny story about her cast members on the new movie she's working on.

After they've finished eating and paid, Raini regretfully excuses herself because she has to get back to set. So Ross and Laura wander around the Grove alone, and it's really, really nice. They don't talk much, but the silence between them is comfortable, inviting, like either of them could begin a conversation at any time, but they're both content with just being together. It isn't like this often, and she's forgotten how much she loves being with him like this, like a real, actual couple.

He must be realizing how much he's missed the times like these too, because he wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her into his side as they walk, kissing the top of her head. She smiles.

"I used to think about moments like these all the time," he tells her. She can hear the smile in his voice. "Back on the show, when I didn't know how you felt and I couldn't do anything about how I felt because we were working together. I'd always think about what would happen if we _did_ date, and for some reason, I didn't imagine very many big, romantic events. Most of what I thought about were times like these. Us just _being_ together, doing the most mundane things but…together."

"Well, _that's_ because you're the world's biggest romantic, and therefore you can find perfect romance in the most unromantic things."

"Maybe," he muses, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. "Or maybe I just couldn't get the idea of being…I dunno, a _normal_ couple with you out of my head."

"That's pretty much the same thing."

"Yeah, yeah. Just let me pretend to be able to make sense of my feelings for once," he teases.

"Aw, but where's the fun in that?" she teases back, nudging him with her hip.

He drops his arm from around her shoulders and stops walking, turning his head to look at her with a smile on his face. "Laura Marano, did you just flirt with me?"

She stops too. "You know what, I think I did. I don't know if you know this, but I have the _teeniest_ little crush on you." She holds up her thumb and index finger pressed together to prove her point.

He chuckles and grabs both her hands, intertwining their fingers. "Teeniest little crush, huh?"

" _Microscopic_."

Ross shakes his head, rolling his eyes in amusement and letting go of her hands to wrap his arms around her waist. "I love you."

She smiles and rests her hands on his shoulders, looking up at his twinkling eyes and once again remembering just how _worth it_ all the hard times are, if she just gets a few moments like this. "I love you, too."

* * *

"Ross, _stop_ ," she whines, flinching yet again at his hand squeezing her side where he _knows_ she's ticklish.

He tears his eyes away from the TV and looks over at her. "Stop what?" he asks innocently. "I'm just relaxing and trying to watch this Harry Potter movie, and you keep talking."

She rolls her eyes. "Stop tickling me."

"Stop what?" he asks, fighting a smile as he squeezes her side again. She yelps and whacks his chest.

"Stop that!"

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong!" he exclaims, this time letting out a small laugh as he tickles her again, which elicits another squeal.

This time, he doesn't stop, and in her attempts to escape his grip she ends up falling off the couch and onto the ground. Grinning at the advantage he just gained, the blond scrambles off the couch and sits on Laura's legs before she can get up.

"Ross – " she starts, trying to wriggle out from under him.

"Really, Laura. I'm just trying to watch the movie," he laughs, poking and squeezing at her stomach and sides.

She laughs uncontrollably, still trying to push him off her.

"Ross!" she giggles. "Ross, I'm serious!"

"You don't sound serious!" he teases as he continues his tickle attack.

She manages to grab his hands to stop him, and he pauses for a moment, grinning down at her.

" _Evil_ ," she hisses at him.

"Oh, you want evil?" he asks, his smile laced with mischief. "I'll show you evil."

The blond then proceeds to pin her hands above her head, holding both her wrists with one hand while using the other to start tickling her again. She laughs uncontrollably, and he grins even wider, his tongue poking out between his teeth.

"Please!" she begs through her giggles. "I'll do anything!"

"Anything?" he repeats, pausing again and tilting his head.

"Within reason," she says quickly.

"Kiss me," he says.

She raises her eyebrows. "That's it?"

"What were you expecting?" he asks, a hint of a smirk on his face.

"Well, this is _you_ we're talking about."

Ross smiles innocently and leans down, supporting his weight on his forearms placed on the floor on either side of her head.

"I love you," he tells her, looking her in the eyes. "You know that, right?"

She smiles gently, understanding even what was unspoken. A fairly simple question, but with a much deeper meaning. She knows he loves her, right? Even with all the fights and screaming and crying and harsh words and snappy comments and cut off phone calls and a million other things that most people would consider too much to continue? She knows that despite all that, he really _does_ love her, doesn't she?

"Of course," she replies, bringing her hands up to his cheeks and smiling more at the way he leans into her touch. "Always."

"Good," he says quietly.

"And…you know _I_ love _you_ just as much, right?"

This time it's _his_ turn to smile, and he leans down to press a soft kiss to her lips.

"Always," he echoes in a whisper.

* * *

She's pretty sure her voice is gone by now, but she still tries to sing (or scream) to the best of her ability as her boyfriend and his band sing the last song of their show for the night.

Ross invited her to the concert, and while she had originally already had plans, said plans fell through. So, being the incredibly supportive and proud and sweet girlfriend she is, she decided to come surprise Ross at the concert. He saw her before the encore, which was only for a few seconds before he was whisked away by the rest of the band to at least sort of freshen up before the very end of the show. Still, in those few seconds he had attempted to wrap her in a sweaty hug (which she kindly rejected, to his slight amusement) and then settle for a light kiss on her cheek and a promise to see her after the show.

So now she's standing next to his mom, and the two of them are rocking out alone to the song, and it's the most fun she's had in a while (which is saying something, considering Ross hasn't been on tour and months and that means that they've had plentyof... _fun_ …).

There's just something about watching her boyfriend do what he loves and witnessing first-hand just how successful he's become while jamming out to _his_ voice singing _his_ songs that isn't just an every-day 'fun' experience. Stormie's hilarious dance moves also help.

After the concert, she runs up to Ross with a grin on her face.

"That was amazing!" she gushes. "You guys were so good! I know you're sweaty, but I can just shower, right?"

She giggles and goes to hug Ross, but he dodges her. "Yeah, thanks for coming," he mutters.

She frowns, but quickly shakes it off. "Anyway, after you're all freshened up we should go out to dinner! We haven't been on a date in _ages_ and – "

"I'm too tired," he interrupts, pushing past her.

"But you _always_ wanna do stuff after shows."

"I'm tired tonight, Laura."

"So we're not gonna do _anything_?"

"Did you only come so you could hang out with me after?"

"Well, no, but I just assumed that – "

"But you're disappointed that I'm not giving you attention for coming."

"Ross, that's not what I'm – "

"Once again, it's about you."

"Okay, hold it. _None_ of this is about me," she says, knitting her eyebrows in actual _confusion_ at how on earth he just turned this on her. "I just came to support you, and I figured we'd do something after. But if you're too tired, then that's fine. We can hang out another time."

"Glad I got your permission," he says sarcastically.

"I wasn't – "

"Whatever."

He starts walking away from her, but she grabs his hand.

"Hey," she says, effectively stopping him and getting his attention again, "are you _mad_ at me?"

"Uh, yeah, kinda," he snaps. "First of all, you came to my concert after saying you already had plans. Did you decide that lying about having plans was rude?"

"No, they just got cancelled."

"So I'm your second choice."

"Ross, I already had a commitment before you invited me. When those plans fell through, of course I immediately decided to come here. How is this my fault?"

"I'm always your second choice, and then you get _disappointed_ when I'm too tired to hang out?"

"You're always my – Ross, this coming from the guy who would rather have a guys' night with his brothers who he sees every day than hang out with his girlfriend who he sees once a week if their lucky? I came to support you; I was kind of _happy_ that my other plans didn't work out so I could come see you. You know all I do is support you…even when you're being a jerk like you are now."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know being my girlfriend was such a _burden_."

He starts walking away again, but she wants the last word.

"It wouldn't be such a burden if you didn't put so much weight on my shoulders. You want me to be supportive, but not clingy. You want me to want you, but not to be needy. You like sex, but dates…not as much. You want to be with me, but you're always 'too tired' to actually _do_ anything."

"Well, gosh Laura," he says, turning around and walking back over to her. "If being my girlfriend is _so_ unenjoyable for you, maybe you should just _not_ – "

He stops talking immediately and purses his lips. She swallows, staring at him with wide eyes. He stares back, and she can see that behind the mask of frustration and anger, there's a hint of fear in his eyes. Fear of the words that almost just came out of his mouth.

"I'll call you tomorrow." She can barely hear him; he's hardly speaking above a whisper. "Promise."

She knows better than to trust his promises as he's broken _far_ too many for her to truly, fully trust them anymore, but she does know he'll uphold this one. If anything, _these_ types of promises are the only ones she can still trust.

She nods wordlessly, and he shoves his hands in his jean pockets and starts walking away, but not without stealing a few glances back at her. She tries to shoot him a forgiving smile, but she's still shaken by their almost-breakup.

She watches him until he disappears around a corner, and then she hurries to her car and drives home.

* * *

The sun is starting to set and he _still_ hasn't called. Last night he promised he'd call her today and today is almost over and she hasn't heard from him. She knows that maybe she shouldn't just blindly trust his promises even though that one was delivered at such a crucial moment, but she still sort of expected him to pull through this time. Apparently her expectations were too high.

Maybe this is his way of telling her that he thought about it and he meant what he _didn't_ say last night, that he really does think they should break up. She knows that she'd never _fully_ get over it – does anyone really _completely_ move on from their first love? – but she also knows that eventually things would be okay. Still, she _really_ doesn't want him to break up with her and just the thought of that possibility has her feeling kind of sick.

Maybe some fresh air would help. She _has_ been cooped up inside all day, after all. She stands up from her comfy spot on the couch and opens the front door to walk out onto her porch. Something is out of the ordinary, though: a familiar Prius is parked on the street outside.

Then from behind the Prius walks Ross with his eyes trained on the ground, his hair almost glowing with the fading light of the sunset shining behind him. "Ross?" she calls out to him quietly.

He looks up, eyes wide. "Hey," he says, quickening his pace and walking over to her.

"What…what're you doing here?"

"I thought we should talk in person."

Her mind goes on overdrive. People usually do breakups in person. And he usually does apologies over the phone. He was _going_ to call her, probably to apologize, but then decided to see her in person, which means he must have changed his mind about apologizing and come to the conclusion that he's sick of being in a relationship with her and now he's going to break up with her all because she wanted to go out to dinner after a concert.

"You…you did?" she asks, hoping that her nervousness doesn't show in her voice.

"Yeah," he says. "I'm sorry. About last night."

"You're…what?"

"I'm sorry," he repeats. "You were being sweet and supportive and we really haven't been on a date in a really long time and I know that's mostly my fault and I'm _sorry._ I shouldn't have said all that, and I especially shouldn't have almost…y'know…"

She purses her lips and nods. "So…you're not breaking up with me?"

He shakes his head, smiling just slightly. "Not if you're not breaking up with me."

She shakes her head too, smiling and sighing in relief. "What happened to us?" she asks.

He exhales. "I…I really don't know."

"You'd think the longer we were together, the less we'd fight."

"Seems like the opposite."

"I don't like fighting with you."

"Yeah, ditto," he replies with a small chuckle.

"How do we stop?"

"I don't think we can. We just have to keep forgiving each other, keep loving each other, keep remembering that it's worth it."

"Guess that's all we can do," she sighs, grabbing his hands.

He looks down at their hands and slowly spreads his fingers before intertwining them with hers.

"I love you," he tells her, lifting his head to look her in the eyes.

"I know you do." She gives him a small, hopeful smile. "I love you, too."

"I know you do," he replies, looking down at their hands again. "I dreamed about there being an _us_ for…years. This _us_ isn't exactly what I was expecting."

"Me neither. But…it's us."

He meets her eyes. "Guess this just shows how much we love each other, huh? If we're willing to go through all this, we can get through…pretty much anything."

"As long as we both remember that we're _better together_ ," she says with a smile.

He rolls his eyes, his smile growing. "Yeah, okay."

"Hey, Ross."

"Don't make it worse."

She grins. "There's no way I could make it without you."

Instead of rolling his eyes again, the blonde just laughs and wraps his arms around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and then resting his chin on top of it while she rests her ear against his chest.

They stay like that for a while as they watch the sun sink below the horizon, that wonderful comfortable silence surrounding them.

But she listens as his heart gradually starts beating more erratically, and she tries to imagine what he must be thinking about.

"I love you," he breathes, inadvertently answering her question.

She smiles contently at the feeling of those words vibrating in his chest against her ear.

"I love you, too."

And she does. She _really_ does love him. She always _will_ love him, and she knows that _he_ will always love _her_. That's just who they are, and that's why they're so _good_ at staying together. Despite the fact that they're almost always butting heads and fighting, they've stayed together for three years already, and are still, for the most part, going pretty strong. They've lasted longer than most Hollywood couples, and all their odd circumstances considered, that's quite the accomplishment.

She thinks that they've managed to stay together this long because they both know that it's _worth it_. She asks herself if it really _is_ worth it every day, and while on some days it takes a little more thinking than others, she _always_ ends up answering yes. Because they love each other, and while there are plenty of other factors involved in deciding whether or not being with him _is_ truly worth it, she knows that _that_ one is the most important factor of all. And as long as they love each other, they'll be able to get through any argument, any fight, any span of time, and any distance.

Their relationship may not be perfect, but she's never had any other relationship to compare it to. Sometimes she wonders if maybe another relationship with less fighting and more of an 'idea' couple feel to it would cause her to rethink her relationship with Ross, but she always quickly gets rid of that thought. Because she may not know anything else, but she doesn't think she'd mind keeping it that way.

* * *

 **so I loved this title but I really hated the fic I originally wrote to go with it, so I wrote a new one and I think it's a whole lot better. I've never been all that good at portraying raura, but I think I'm getting better...I hope... Anyway I worked super hard on this one so I really hope you enjoyed it :) (special thanks to rj for tips and michelle, meg, and taty for reading the first half and helping me out) (also thanks to my eggs for practically forcing me to write and being my biggest fans luv u guys)**


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